Limerick Day

As many of you know I know, May 12th is typically celebrated as Limerick Day. Edward Lear, a Limey Brit an Englishman popularized this short, quippy, usually vulgar type of poetry. We celebrate this poem on his Birthday, by remembering him and writing absurd and obscene poems. By “we,” I of course mean myself, a dozen other literary nerds, and any high school English students unfortunate enough to have a teacher who recognizes this “holiday.”

So, in keeping with the spirit, I will now write a few poems from the top of my head.

There once was a man from Nan —— ok, just kidding.

There once was a blogger named Scott

Some say that he sure writes a lot

A LiveJournal quitter,

But never on Twitter

The End. (‘Cause that’s all that I’ve got.)

Ok, decided not to follow the “vulgar” rule on that one. Lemme try harder…

There once was a boozer from Wales

(Well, Lakeland is where from he hails)

Drank Lager and Stout

Until he passed out

And lost all the wind from his sails!

That’s more in the spirit! Lets go after my wife now…

I once knew a pretty young lass

Who was great for some fun, but alas!

She soon turned the tide

And became my Bride

Now I’ve got a pain in my ass!

(Just kidding, honey… I had to make it rhyme!)

The Story of Murray the Fetus:

We’re wonderin’ when you will come greet us.

How you came to be?

Well hmm, let me see:

The result of some strong margaritas!

Yes, even my unborn child isn’t except from amphibrachic meter-inspired ridicule. But it meets all the requirements set forth by Mr. Lear.

So, take time to remember all those dirty poems your dad used to tell you when he was drunk… and try writing a few of your own!