Dear Taco Bell,
Look… You know me. I know you. We’ve spent many a night together, even when one of us has been a little to heavy on the bottle. You don’t judge.
But you’ve got to stop the teasing. Why is it that every time you offer me something new and exciting, you pull the rug out from under me as soon as I’m in love? Is this some kind of a sick, twisted game to you? Toying with my emotions like this?!
I’m sorry babe. I know, I forgave you before. The Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme made me fall for you all over again. And when it was discontinued? I still came back. Come on, baby, it’s me.
But this time it’s too much. You stopped listing my Ranchero Chicken Soft Tacos on the menu, but you always made them for me anyway. I didn’t mind the extra 20 cents. Anything just to be close to you. And then you went and changed all that tonight.
Baby, a man has needs. No no, baby it’s not like that… yes, I love you for your value. And the long hours. And how well you get along with my friends KFC and Pizza Hut Sweetheart listen… this isn’t easy but, well, I think I should see other chains. Other chains who won’t do this to me.
Oh don’t get all high and mighty with me! Yeah, so I haven’t been there in a while, so what’s it to you? Well maybe I WAS at Wendy’s! Maybe she’s got what I need! She told me “when it’s real, you know that’s it’s real,” and how can I fight that?! MAYBE SHE WOULDN”T FORGET CHIVES ON MY DAMN CHEESY FIESTA POTATOES.
WHAT’S THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU AND LONG JOHN SILVERS, HUH? HUH????
Oh no, don’t think I’ll come crawling back to you at 2am after a late night out with the boys. Oh, wait. Maybe I will. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it.
Looooove you,
The Welshman
Filed under: food, funny, rants, stories, strange Tagged: | corporate, letters, rants, unsent
